Thursday, June 16, 2011


Just discovered that the mombie who called me 'toxic' and inspired this blog is pregnant again and was pregnant while attacking me for 'daring' to suggest that we should boycott mother's day.....makes me feel ill.

Had already put her on limited profile, and had hidden her status updates a loooooong time ago, am thinking it is time for the DEFRIEND.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

STFU, Parents

Thanks to a reader / friend for sending this website my way. Hours of fun to be had. Have linked down the side of this blog too.

Best way of avoiding the obsessed parents on facebook is to hide them from your newsfeed, just in case anyone needs the tip :-)

Bad mother's day gift = cheating

My new favourite site, Jezebel, has a post about how women will apparently cheat if they don't get a decent Mother's Day gift!

Apparently, it's even worse at Valentine's Day.

Seriously, if my husband were to spend an Outrageous Sum of Money That We Don't Have on a Hideous Gift That I Don't Want, that would be more likely to send me down the cheating path. No self-respecting woman needs revolting mass-produced and overpriced Michael Hill Jewelry.

Happy 'go hide under a rock' day

This is what I would have liked to post on facebook, but am certain I would have had a face-spank for doing so:

"Happy 'go hide under a rock' day to all those who can't and don't have children - those who have lost children, tried to have them but can't, chosen not to have them, or who have lost contact with their children."

Seriously, my facebook newsfeed is one massive Mother's Day overshare.

Thanks to M though for including me in her own facebook post and as one of the women to be celebrated today - it meant a lot.


One of the reasons this Mother's Day is harder than last time is not just because of the continued lack of conception, but because my Grandfather just passed away, and I have to face the hard reality that he will never know my children (if we have them). We were very close and it would have been wonderful for them to have met their Great-Grandfather, but now he will only be a Great-Grandfather on paper. I blame myself (irrational I know) for not conceiving 'in time' to make him an in-person Great-Grandfather.

This is the kind of irrational nonsense that we childless ones enforce upon ourselves.

Anyways, I will suck it up and remember to call my Grandmother today (she is the type that will appreciate it), although I would like to point out that I think it's more important that I've organised to stay overnight in Wellington after work there tomorrow so that I can spend some time with her - I don't need 'Mother's Day' to think about her and show her that I love her.

the irony of Mother's Day

So the 'incident' that spawned this blog occurred on my facebook page, where I 'dared' to suggest a boycott of Mother's Day and suggested celebrating my friends who can't / don't have children. It was suggested I was 'militant' and didn't want to 'celebrate' motherhood. Rather insensitive suggestions from a high school friend who was married a month after S and I and popped a sprog pretty soon after.

I ended up deleting the post and logging off facebook for a time after she continued to contact me via facebook chat (even after a request to leave me alone). It appears that she was deeply offended at my lack of 'celebration' of motherhood, yet she just couldn't see how exclusive and ostracising a day like Mother's Day can be. It seems that it's ok to have a 'day' where we celebrate mothers, but we're not allowed to celebrate the non-mums. Irony much?

Am I hyper-sensitive? Yeah probably. Am I sorry for that? Not really.

I'm sure if my own Mum felt a desperate need to be honoured tomorrow, I would do it, because I love and appreciate her. In fact, she has just messaged me to say thanks for a care package I organised recently for her birthday, filled with treats for the next few weeks while she finishes her PhD. She knows I'm thinking of her and don't require Hallmark to remind me I need to do that.

Anyway, something I did write on my facebook post is how I felt two years ago at a Church service (not my own Church) where ALL the women were given a prezzie to celebrate Mother's Day. It was the best feeling ever, as I felt celebrated for the woman that I am, without a 'child-requirement' as part of that.

What saddens me is that I took a risk yesterday in posting my 'boycott' suggestion, and the quick and harsh response from someone who is blessed to have a child has led me to making anonymous posts about how I'm feeling. I wouldn't dare make insensitive / jealous comments on their photos of new babies so how come she can do it back to me when I express what's happening in my life?

infertility and facebook 2

this article definitely sums up how I feel....